Extreme weightloss

I'm watching extreme makeover weighloss that was on the other night.  It's an interesting show, they take a year to lose weight. They have big goals and get big rewards for them.  They do exercise and eat "right" of course.  I'm watching this episode and she quit her job to focus on her weightloss.  I guess she felt it was worth it. I'd love to be able to not work and focus just on me.  Even on mat leave I wanted to do more but of course had a baby to look after.  I know that I need to be able to focus a bit on me.  But I also need to focus on my son so all my time is not my own.

I do want to focus on his health as well, which means I want to focus on both of us eating better, going primal as they say.  I have a plan to plan lol. I know that I will have to make a meal plan, and do biweekly cooking. I don't think once a month cooking will work for me only because it's a whole day commitment and I just can't do that with a toddler.  So I'll split it in two and use his nap times to get some of the cooking done.  I get flyers now, which is nice, so if I can start my meal plan and be able to shop Saturday morning, no more than two stores, then cook Sunday afternoon, I'll be set. 

As for exercise, I need to do that.  I have been very unmotivated to do anything, I think I have a touch of depression.  It's not nearly as bad as I've experienced in the past, Jackson is a natural antidepressant for me, so he helps a lot.  I know that exercise will help, it's fitting it in that is the issue for me now.  Do I get up early to do it?  Do I go to bed earlier so I can do that?  Or do I do the workout after Jackson goes to bed at 8?  That's close to bedtime, if I workout too hard at that time I may not be able to sleep.  I need to pick something and stick to it.  Make a decision.

As strange as it may sound, decluttering my houst might help my overall motivation.  Tomorrow is a travel day, so Jackson goes to daycare for the morning and then I pick him up after lunch to go visit my parents for the weekend.  I plan to use the morning to clean.  I want to get the living room and dining room liveable again, tidied and cleaned up.  I have Tuesday off as well and will use it to do some more work.  It's supposed to be vacation but I want to get my room, and the guest room, cleaned up as well. There is a lot of garbage and junk sitting around that needs to go! Even if it only makes it to the garage, at least it's out of the house. 

I know I need a plan, and starting with cleaning may seem odd but it will hopefully help me feel in control and like I can do something.  It needs to be done, and I will do it in 15 minute blocks.  I do have a few other things to get done tomorrow, like laundry and packing, but I'll work that in with cleaning, alternating tasks until I get something done and feel better.  And then I will need to make a plan, next Tuesday I need to make a meal plan and a shopping list, and get that eating and exercise thing going.  I can do it.  Without quitting my job.

Plan modified

I had a plan, to plan my meals.  It hasn't worked out very well. I am not very good at planning breakfast and lunch, and sticking to them. So I have a new plan, sort of. I was going to get the Body by Vi shakes and do them along with HCG, two shakes plus a small dinner of protein and veggies.  But the shakes are expensive and hard to get, and it seems like some kind of pyramid scheme. So I've been researching shakes I can get. And today I bought a container that has 32 servings in it.  I had one for lunch, to make sure I can handle the taste, my son had one because he wanted to taste mommies and then really liked it.  That leaves 30 of them, and I am ordering some more next week after pay day, hoping they arrive before I need them, though I can get some more at the store if I want to.

I'll be using HCG as well, I'm torn over whether to try the patches again or not.  And I plan on doing simple Leslie, 1 mile a day, plus some outside walks with child and dog.  I am determined to lose 30 pounds, well I think it's 32 now actually... sigh... And then stick to primal.  I will  use these shakes until I get there, and am buying just what I need for 45 days, twice a day.  At that point I'll change up the workouts as well, maybe try the Firm Express rotation.  Right now I am getting frustrated with myself and need to get this under control. I refuse to be fat!!  Loading is a bit of a sticking point with me, I hate it.  And I'm not very good at it.  My hope is that the shakes, with their high protein content, low carb, will keep me full and satisfied more than a meal, and will prevent me from cheating.  We'll see if it works.  I expect I will have eggs and veggies for breakfast on the weekend with my son, he tends to want what I am having and while I have no real issue with him having a shake too, I'd like him to eat solids a little more. 

Any way.  I know, another start.  One of these times it'll work, and stick, and I'll get where I want to be.  Hopefully before July when I hope to get a referral to a fertility doctor to start talking about having another baby.  I need to have my eating and health sorted out by then, and to be primal/paleo.  I want to be well into a workout plan, so I can continue that throughout as well.  So, ready, set, go!  I'm off on another round.  This one to finish. 

Stir Crazy

I've been home with a sick kid for the week.  It started Sunday when I was sick, I even called my sister to come get my kid because I was so bad.  Then he got it.  So we've been home, and I've been eating crap.  Haven't gained anything but certainly have not been following the plan I'm supposed to follow.  Or exercising.  I know I need to clean my act up, to start actually following the primal eating, to do what I say I'm going to do, but it's quite hard.  I'm not sure why it's so hard.  Even HCG, why is doing a second round so hard when I know that the results are so amazing?  And I have so much left still to lose. 

So.  I have a plan, but need to put a meal plan for the week down on paper.  That is part of the plan, planning my meals Friday night with the flyers, then shopping Saturday and cooking/prepping on the weekend.  So we're ready for the week.  I'd like to do one extra meal a week so when I have weeks like this, where we are home and things are shot, we can still eat healthy things.  And I hope that it will prepare me for days when I don't feel like cooking or something, I'll have a backup. 

I also plan on doing Leslie 3 times a week, I'd prefer in the morning to get it over with, but it'll be hard.  If I do one on the weekend, it can be a longer one, and the other two shorter ones during the week.  Walking the dog and baby are also in the plans, and in a few more weeks, weekend bike rides with the kid.  Toning will fit in as well, just not totally sure which ones I'll do, probably some Jari.  Or possibly KCM.  Maybe even the Firm, so you see my dilemma?  :-)  Too many workouts to choose from!

I will do another round of HCG, I am determined to make it work, 20 pounds at least, then the last 10 or so I can do a more conventional way if I need to.  I'm sure if I had done something more conventional I'd be down some of that already, but I have a hard time with regular diets.  So crazy me, I'll jump back on the HCG wagon and go for a round 2. 

Off to plan... and make a grocery list. 

Changes and Attempts

I've given up on the patches, they may work for some people but not for me.  Heck the drops barely worked, I was taking twice what most people do on them.  So I am back to drops, re-loaded sort of, and tomorrow start VLCD again.  Again.  AGAIN!!  I am so ready to lose weight and stop with this start and stuff crap.  It's annoying.  I have 30 pounds to get off me here, that's no small order after all.  That just gets me to healthy, and I still want to be a little into that.  I am hopeful that going primal afterwards, and really HCG is basically primal as well (without the melba toast), will get me to my goals.  I will try and deal with the hunger, and focus on the goal.  I want so much to be thinner, to get into some nice little clothes and stop the jiggles.

I got all the DVD's I ordered on sale, I have so many to use now, different trainers, even one beginner kettlebell workout, I look forward to trying that one, one I get a kettlebell...  I have a variety, but most of the cardio is Leslie, I do like her basic style, I don't have to think, don't have to learn fancy steps, don't need to really think when I do it, that is the best part really.  And of course they work, you put as much into it as you want to.  Walk, jog, whatever, just as long as you keep moving.  I also prefer high rep low weight workouts, though I know the benefits of  heavy weights, I just prefer the way my body responds to high rep workouts.  When I did slim in 6 years ago, combined with some extra Leslie, I think I looked my best then.  And my best then was not really the best I'd like to look. Make sense?

So I'm back on the drops, and tomorrow start losing again, I hope it doesn't take too long to get to 20 pounds.  That is about when I am willing to consider stopping, but it will depends on how long it takes and how things are going.  I will get to my 40 pounds goal by September for sure, that is many months to figure it out.  Beyond that, we'll see what happens!