Enjoying P3

So far so good. I'm stable!  I've been within a less than 2lb range every morning, even after my horrendous cheat at the bridal shower (I ate bread...) and am enjoying the expanded range of foods.  I am trying to be good and no carb, it's funny that the bread didn't taste good to me, and I've not been missing the usual suspects like pasta, rice and potatoes.  I am hoping this is a good sign.

I've been trying to eat a big breakfast, but not quite up to BAB territory.  I just have a hard time eating that much protein for breakfast when I'm not that hungry.  I am doing pretty well, big breakfast, salad lunch and protein/veggie dinner.  Not much in the way of snacks unless I'm really hungry or, more likely, craving something.  I haven't had chips in moths... which is bizarre because I am a chip-o-holic.  But so far everything is going well. 

I even did a workout last night, 20 minutes and it was easy but felt good to move.  I'll try and keep that up, and may even start doing morning workouts if kiddo would just stay asleep a bit longer.  20 minutes, twice a day, should have me toning up.  I'm not doing it to lose weight really, HCG is good for that thanks, but just to help reshape what I have left.  I did PowerFit workout 1 for shoulders and legs.  It moves along quickly which I like, since it helps me from being bored. 

I was quite bad and ordered a couple new Leslies, longer ones that I can do 1, 2, 3 etc miles from and don't have to do the whole thing.  I love Leslie for being simple to follow, and good for early morning when I don't want to think.  The last time I lost weight I was doing Slim in 6 every morning on an empty stomach and then cardio in the evening, usually Leslie for what started as 1 mile and then was 3 and I was craving more.  Funny how that was.  I might get back there, but not until I've lost the weight I'm sure. 

I also ordered the stroller combo I want, it is so awesome and I can't wait to get it, and put it together :-)  I am sure we'll get a lot of use out of it, though I will also have to get a bike, probably in May or so (for Mother's Day).  I should be lighter by then too so it'll be much easier to bike and run with fewer pounds on me.  Even last night the exercise was easier because I am 20 pounds less than last time I did a workout.  Easier to bend with less belly in the way...

I made Oopsie Rolls yesterday, don't think I cooked them quite long enough but they are tasty, added to the protein in my breakfast this morning.  And some coconut flour brownies, which are a bit, well coconutty.  I am hoping I can find something else to replace that, but we'll see.  The oopsie rolls were actually pretty easy to make, and I was impressed that I did it.  Course I have my new mixer and it really did all the work.  I am looking forward to getting my mixer recipe book, and am tempted to look for a good low carb cook book for baking.  But that will have to wait a few pay cheques I think.  The brownies were also easy to do, but didn't turn out as chocolatey as I might have liked.  I'm sure I can modify them, or maybe use a better cocoa?  Not sure but I'll experiment a bit.  Maybe I'll try almond flour next time... who knows!  I'm taking one to work for the afternoon when cravings hit.  I am taking a couple in to share too.  Actually should take a few as I don't think they'll last long.  Only a pair of oopsie rolls left... they will be eaten tomorrow :-) mmm. 

P3 intermission

I took my patch off Friday so I'm in P3 now, or tomorrow?  Not sure but either way I've been maintaining so far.  I just got to a point I didn't see the point in continuing, I was cheating and feeling sorry for myself too much.  I am happier to be able to eat more, but will do a second round after Easter.  I will also start my workouts tomorrow again.  I'll be using PowerFit, all 3 versions, for 20 minutes 3 or 4 times a week, plus some Leslie walks and real walks weather permitting.  I'll start the couch to 5 k again probably in April or so... depends how I do with the walking etc and when I start P2 again. 

I'm hoping to maintain around 169, but we'll see how it goes.   I was quite bad today, went to a bridal shower and ate way too much yummy bad for me food.  Oh well... I'll do better the rest of the week.  and get some healthy stuff at Costco and Bulk Barn this week.  I got my tax refund and am getting an awesome jogging stroller/bike trailer combo, and bike in May lol.  So I'll be able to take kiddo jogging & biking this summer.  Looking forward to the option.

I'm going to try some coconut flour and almond flour to cook, I got a new mixer that is awesome and I look forward to using it!  I hope to make some oopsie rolls, and a few other things as well. Starting tomorrow, since I don't think I'm going to work.

I'm tired, and the place is a disaster, and there is still a lot to do.  I feel a bit guilty but work is suddenly sorting itself out a bit, so it's a good time to go.  Right now, I'm very tired and thinking I might go to bed early... like really early.  Like in a few minutes.  Yawn.

Work in progress

My decision to eat 3 meals, instead of 2, seems to be working.  I'm not cheating and this morning woke to a 1 pound loss, so I am exactly 22lbs less than when I started, and in the 160's.  Crazy.  I am happy with the decision, and look forward to these last two weeks of VLCD before moving into P3 & 4.  I had thought to not exercise until P4 but am changing my mind and will be starting my 20 minute PowerFit workouts in P3, along with couch to 5k for cardio.  I am getting a jogging/cycling stroller next week or so, and will be taking my son along with me for that.  I'll add in bike rides once the weather improves, and I get a bike lol.  I hope that taking kiddo along with me will show him how to be active and energized.  I also hope it will help to tighten my up. 

It's crazy that I have lost 1/3 of the weight I want to lose, and am well on my way to my goal.  But what surprises me sometimes is that when I was younger, say high school and university, I was about 125lbs, a little less or more.  And thought I was huge.  Like terrible.  How bad is that?  I mean I was at a healthy weight, and was able to wear things I can't even imagine wearing now. But still, I thought I was big and ugly.  Then about 8 years ago I lost some weight, and was about 165lbs, and thought I was fabulous.  But I was still bigger, about where I am now actually... how crazy is it that my imagine is so messed up I can't really see myself for how I really look.  It makes me sad.  I know that I have a ways to go, for sure, but I have come pretty far too. 

I can do this, and improve my body imagine.  I can look how I want, and feel pretty and fabulous.  I can be healthy and fit, and a good example for my son.  We shall see what tomorrow morning brings on the scale.  But for tonight, it's time for bed, and hopefully a good loss over night.  Or at least a loss of some sort.

Trying a new way

I've been stuck, and cheating a lot.  Part of it is hunger, but the hunger should not be unbearable really, and doesn't equate with what I've been eating.  So I know a lot of it is emotional.  I need to really figure out why I am sabotaging myself.  I think part of it is that I don't think I'll really get there, that although I have been losing a lot I won't actually meet my goals, so why bother trying.  And part of it is, what happens if I do get there?  What's next?  Add in the fact that I see in the mirror the same me I saw 20, even 40 pounds ago, and it's hard to imagine what will be. 

I have decided to try 3 meals a day instead of 2.  My hope is partly that because I will have the proper, healthy choices, available at work, I won't eat the crap I have been. It is has stalled my losses, of course, though I have been good about not gaining too much back, .4 lbs so far which really is nothing.  That does give me a big boost that when it comes time to stabilize I shouldn't have too much trouble with that.  My calories for a day should be about 750 instead of 500, I don't think it will slow my losses that much, and should give me the decrease in hunger that will help with the cheating, and having the stuff available should be helpful as well.  I only have two weeks left really, so I can do this for two weeks.  I know I won't lose 15 more pounds that I'd like, but even 7 or 8 would be awesome and I'll take it. 

I have moments when I'm almost excited to add exercise in.  I know it will shape me up nicely, and that will be nice to see.  I don't really want to start that until phase 4, just because I don't want my body to expect to get it to maintain my losses.  In phase 4 I can lose more if I want, or if it happens.  So that is fine too.  I will have to do at least one more round, I have no doubt of that.  I am nowhere near healthy weight yet.  And won't be in 2 weeks.  But I can get closer. 

Part of my stress and overeating is related to work, I have accepted a new job and I'm not sure I should have.  I really like my current manager, I like working for him, and I have learned so much from him.  But there are other factors involved, and I need to move on.  But it's making me a bit sad, and a tad annoyed that he didn't "fight" for me.  I can only hope I'm making the right choice I guess.  But it's causing stress, which is causing chocolate bars to find their way into my hands.  And mouth.  And there you go... I need to deal with that, and face it.  It seems silly I'm sure, I mean either way I have a great job that pays really well, but it's just hard to change I guess.  Change is hard. 

Fading

I'm having a hard time and I'm not quite sure why.  I have been cheating almost daily, ok daily, for about a week.  Which of course translates into not much of a loss.  I need to figure out what is driving this.  I really wanted to reach a goal this round, 15 pounds less than where I am, and I am not sure I'll get there now.  Or when.  I am not quite clear on why I am cheating so much, I have some hunger, but it's not enough to lead me to what I've been doing.  I really need to figure out what I am doing, and more importantly why. 

I do hope that I am not sabotaging myself on purpose. I believe that I want to accomplish this, to be thin and fit and fabulous.  But I hate being hungry, and know that I find this hard.  And work has been stressful lately, so maybe it's stress?  I don't know.  Can't blame TOM any more, that's over.  So it has to be something else.

I was very happy to get to 170.  Can you imagine?  I mean it's 21.4 lbs down, and so close to goals, and lower than I have been in about 8 years.  Crazy.  Still a long way to go though.  I want to be healthy!!  I want to be pretty. 

I have roughly two weeks of patches left.  I really want to do this for two weeks.  If I can lose 7 lbs, that would be awesome, it's not to goal but it's closer than I am now.  And maybe it would be enough for this round.  I do wish I wouldn't have to do another round, but I will have to, so I need to get it together and finish this round strongly so I know I can do the next one too.  I will have to figure out a way.  The long weekend might help, I do better when I'm at home, less temptation, and perhaps that will be enough to get me back on track. 

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Today I turned 37.  It's a pretty odd year for me, it's that much closer to 40, and over the safe 35 that I liked, but I feel like I'm on a roll when it comes to my health and finances are finally getting sorted out.  I woke up to a 1.2lb loss, putting me at an even 20 pounds lost!  This is great, and I feel wonderful for having met that goal, and smashing the 10% lost goal to pieces.  I do have to keep going though, and today will likely result in a gain tomorrow :-)  I was rather bad at work, and for dinner, so we'll see how it ends up.

I ordered two pairs of pants two sizes smaller than I wear now. One size smaller would actually fit me now, but I suspect in another 10 to 15 pounds the ones I've ordered will be great, and that should be before the end of this 30 days on the patches.  I am quite pleased with my results so far, and am wearing things I haven't worn in a long time, though some are not as lovely on me as they once were, I'm getting there.

Tomorrow it's back to the VLCD and on track.  I want to get to my goal for the round, below it if possible of course, and feel like I can. 

All in all it was a great birthday. 

goal met

I was a little surprised when I got up this morning and the scale said I was down 1.6lbs!!  That is a whole pound below my mini goal, I am now officially only overweight, as opposed to obese!  Woo hoo for me :-)  I am finding I'm still a bit hungry on the patches, but am hoping that will let up as the patches work, and I get back into the swing of things. 

I guess I am a bit rogue, I have eaten some extra protein, and veggies that are not exactly on protocol, but I think close enough.  I am hoping it all works out any way.  I am hopeful that I can do this and get to my end goal.  Next goal is only 8 pounds away, yes I have a lot of mini goals along the way, I find it motivating to be hitting numbers I want to see.  The round I hope to lose another 18 pounds, but 23 would be better, and I am not sure I can actually do it. We'll see I guess!  That still won't  bring me to healthy weight but very close.  From there it will be easier to reach any way. 

PI done, on with the show!

I ended the planned interruption .2 lbs less than I started it.  Not too shabby, considering what I ate (which was not P3 friendly in all cases). It does make me think I'll be able to settle into P3 when the time comes, and stabilize well.

I'm using the patches now.  Put one on this morning, but I was already hungry, so that makes it tricky.  I did eat a little more than I should have but I believe I will be ok tomorrow.  I'm not hungry now, though I could eat of course.  I can see these working for a proper round, with loading etc.  I am looking forward to the 30 days on them now, and to hopefully losing another 17+ on them.  My goal is really 19 more pounds, that puts me at 155.  I'd love to get to 145 since that is "healthy" for me, but don't think I'll be able to do that in 30 days.  We'll see how it goes though.  I know I'll have to do one more round, whether it will be short or long remains to be seen. 

I have purchased some clothes that are currently too small, and will hopefully fit by the end of this round.  I have lost some inches, though not as many as I'd hoped for.  My pants are going to be an issue soon, falling down, but I don't want to buy a bunch of stuff in one size smaller to only need another size smaller in a few more weeks.  So I'll just have to figure out how to wear the clothes I have now.  Some new tops, tops I bought but have never worn, that now I can wear.  That is kind of nice.