My Metro shop & savings today

September 23, 2012

My Metro shop & savings today - pretty much all healthy stuff too!

I bought the bag (it's insulated and I've wanted one for awhile) $1.99
Select Tomato sauce 2 @ 0.79 = $1.98
Campbells Broth (one beef & one chicken low sodium) 2 @ 1.99 = $3.98
Cauliflower $2.50
Broccoli $1.50
Grilled Tilapia & salmon $3.99 x 2 - $.98 special - $2.00 coupons = $5.00
Pork Tenderloin $4.73
Chicken Fryers $10.95 - $2 (8.95 for two)
Bananas $.65
Asparagus $1.97
Potatoes $3.99
Milk $3.99 each x 3 - $3 coupons = $8.97

Total value - $87.56 Out of Pocket - $48.57

Everything else we need for the week will come from my stockpile (snacks like nuts for me, granola bars & crackers for him, rice & noodles are also in the stockpile).  So I am very pleased. I could have use Air Miles to get $20 off as well but didn't need to so am saving them for when they are really needed. 

Extreme weightloss

I'm watching extreme makeover weighloss that was on the other night.  It's an interesting show, they take a year to lose weight. They have big goals and get big rewards for them.  They do exercise and eat "right" of course.  I'm watching this episode and she quit her job to focus on her weightloss.  I guess she felt it was worth it. I'd love to be able to not work and focus just on me.  Even on mat leave I wanted to do more but of course had a baby to look after.  I know that I need to be able to focus a bit on me.  But I also need to focus on my son so all my time is not my own.

I do want to focus on his health as well, which means I want to focus on both of us eating better, going primal as they say.  I have a plan to plan lol. I know that I will have to make a meal plan, and do biweekly cooking. I don't think once a month cooking will work for me only because it's a whole day commitment and I just can't do that with a toddler.  So I'll split it in two and use his nap times to get some of the cooking done.  I get flyers now, which is nice, so if I can start my meal plan and be able to shop Saturday morning, no more than two stores, then cook Sunday afternoon, I'll be set. 

As for exercise, I need to do that.  I have been very unmotivated to do anything, I think I have a touch of depression.  It's not nearly as bad as I've experienced in the past, Jackson is a natural antidepressant for me, so he helps a lot.  I know that exercise will help, it's fitting it in that is the issue for me now.  Do I get up early to do it?  Do I go to bed earlier so I can do that?  Or do I do the workout after Jackson goes to bed at 8?  That's close to bedtime, if I workout too hard at that time I may not be able to sleep.  I need to pick something and stick to it.  Make a decision.

As strange as it may sound, decluttering my houst might help my overall motivation.  Tomorrow is a travel day, so Jackson goes to daycare for the morning and then I pick him up after lunch to go visit my parents for the weekend.  I plan to use the morning to clean.  I want to get the living room and dining room liveable again, tidied and cleaned up.  I have Tuesday off as well and will use it to do some more work.  It's supposed to be vacation but I want to get my room, and the guest room, cleaned up as well. There is a lot of garbage and junk sitting around that needs to go! Even if it only makes it to the garage, at least it's out of the house. 

I know I need a plan, and starting with cleaning may seem odd but it will hopefully help me feel in control and like I can do something.  It needs to be done, and I will do it in 15 minute blocks.  I do have a few other things to get done tomorrow, like laundry and packing, but I'll work that in with cleaning, alternating tasks until I get something done and feel better.  And then I will need to make a plan, next Tuesday I need to make a meal plan and a shopping list, and get that eating and exercise thing going.  I can do it.  Without quitting my job.

To begin again... or not?

Tomorrow I need to do something.  I am over my food poisoning (the reason I stopped all workouts for awhile) and can actually eat and not feel ill.  I still feel a bit off, I think my internal parts are still recovering from the effects of not keeping anything down for 3 days.  So I plan on restarting HCG tomorrow. Again.  I am going with drops only, no patches as I don't think they work for me.  I will need to do some shopping for vegetables tomorrow, and make sure I have the meat ready to go. But I have a day or two of loading any way so it should be good. 

I plan on keeping Leslie in the mix, and some toning/yoga/pilates as well.  Being active is the end goal of all this effort so I might as well keep it in the mix while I'm losing.  Leslie is nice and easy, not that you can't make it more effort, but that the steps are simple, I don't get confused and I can actually move my feet like that.

I have a bike, it was free, and is a bit old, and wow I have not ridden a bike in years!  I took it down the street today and it was more effort than I care to admit.  I have to get back on the horse as they say, so that'll be interesting.  My son enjoyed the brief trip and was upset it wasn't longer. So we'll attempt to get to the park this week, when it's not raining or 40 with the humidex :-)

Back on track, up a few pounds from my lowest, helped to keep it closer to end weight by the food poisoning (losing 6 pounds in 2 days is rough).  Goal is 35 pounds away, or more lol, but 20 for this round of losing.  Now to do it! 

Cardio Abs

I did Jessica Smith Cardio Abs and it was great.  I have two left feet so didn't get all the moves by a long shot, but I will keep at it and hopefully get it within a few tries.  I did work up a great sweat any way, and it was nice.  I will do the second workout tomorrow, it's toning I believe.  I plan to rotate through the 3 workouts over the week, doing each twice.  I'd like to do some extra cardio in the morning, Leslie is the most likely option.  And if my yoga/pilates dvd's arrive I'd like to add in one of those after work with Jackson to "help".  It's pretty ambitious, but I think I can do it.

Eating wise I have done pretty well today, below my calories, but I was hungry.  And my supplements haven't arrived yet so hopefully they come tomorrow and I can get everything on track.  I'm supposed to try and do the HCG but again I'm having trouble with it, so I'm not sure what to do about that.  Knowing it works if I can stick to it, but finding it hard to stick to for some reason.  It's odd really, I mean I know it works.  Yet I can't stick to it.  I need to fix that somehow, whether I go back to the drops or what I don't know.  But I need to decide soon.  My time is ticking and I won't have 30 days in a row to do this soon, which means I'll end up cycling and that may be harder. 

The Cardio Abs workout was very good, it starts out quickly, and has some kickboxing moves in it.  Nothing is too complicated, my feet just don't seem to move like that, yet.  And wow am I out of shape!  I didn't think I was that bad, but apparently I am.  It's good that it's only 28 minutes or so.  Any longer and I don't think I would have made it. 

Tomorrow is another day, back on track?  I hope so!

A couple workouts

And a diet restarted.  I am attempting the patches again, with a plan.  Adding in some workouts too. I got up and did 1 mile of Leslie.  Then after work I did 10 minutes of pilates type work, with my son "helping".  I plan to make that longer but we're starting with 10 minutes a day so he can adjust to mommy doing something that doesn't involve him. I ordered him a purple yoga mat so he can workout too if he wants to.  But we'll see how that goes.  Then when he went to bed I did KCM 30-minute Circuit Burn, the first workout.  I didn't realize the warm up wasn't included so I was a bit behind in the beginning.  But it was a good workout and I sweat quite a bit.  I hope to do the same tomorrow, well a different 10 minute workout (there are 5 on the disc so one per day) and a different 1 mile with Leslie (again, 5 on the disc so a different one each day).  I may try the second Circuit Burn workout.  We'll see.

Tomorrow I start the low cal part of the diet too, using shakes for breakfast, lunch and a sensible dinner. I am going to be working out so will add in the extra calories of the second shake, hoping also to stave off hunger.  I will add in some salad at lunch too.  Just some veggies so I have something to chew and add in some vitamins.  All in all, it's a good plan I hope I can stick to.

Goal is to lose 30 pounds, and keep it off of course.  I'm still at the -20lbs or so, it varies a bit, but is not too bad, I have gained back a couple pounds I think but nothing I couldn't get off with some clean eating and less blah-ness.  I've been feeling very off, like I can't commit to any workout or diet or anything.  Planning and eating right is hard.  I've been rebelling against what I think is "unfair".  All the stuff I've read about grains and wheat and gluten and all of it.  It makes me angry and I've just been stuffing my face with whatever because I want to and it's not fair that I can't do what I want, that cutting wheat is so hard and it's so addictive. 

I guess I need to get over that.  To realize that I can't blame the world and everyone else for my food problems, for my grain and wheat addiction, to blame them for causing me to gain weight.  Something to work on while I work through this month of losing.

Still hanging in there

A friend at work gave me some Body by Vi shake mix to try.  Very nice of him, not taking any money for it either.  He likes it but is only using it for breakfast and I'm not sure he's that pleased with it.  I have some other meal replacement shake mix I bought on the weekend, so the BbV will be my breakfast and the other my lunch for a little while.  I plan to start the HCG on Thursday, we're going out for lunch at work so it's a good "loading" day, mexican means avocados mmm.  I'll be using the shakes with the HCG, and adding in some walking and maybe yoga, pilates or light weights.  We'll see about that part.  I also ordered 90 servings of a high protein meal replacement, which will hopefully be here within two weeks, so I can keep going and be able to do this. 

I'm pretty sure the shakes are not exactly primal, but I'll likely be using them any way.  Eventually I hope not to but for now I'm having some trouble with my limited breakfast items, I know that there is more to breakfast than eggs, but a protein shake seems to fit the bill as easily, and perhaps prevents a bit of boredom.  This of course assumes I'll be using dairy going forward.  I hope to get very close to my goal weight by the end of this round, so I don't need to do more and can perhaps just use exercise and clean eating to get to the end. 

Work has been a bit stressful lately, there's some changes going on that are hopefully going to leave me in a good position, but I am aware that things can change at the last minute, and I'm not sure where I'll end up.  I am thinking that a promotion is coming to me, which would be fabulous for my budget, and my baby making plans, which means my weight loss plans need to kick it up a notch.  Again.  To get back on track, because that first round, I lost 20 pounds that I have kept off, and I want to get rid of another 30... I know it's doable I just for some reason cannot do it!  I  have to though, so back to it asap, and using shakes instead of cooking might help.

Plan modified

I had a plan, to plan my meals.  It hasn't worked out very well. I am not very good at planning breakfast and lunch, and sticking to them. So I have a new plan, sort of. I was going to get the Body by Vi shakes and do them along with HCG, two shakes plus a small dinner of protein and veggies.  But the shakes are expensive and hard to get, and it seems like some kind of pyramid scheme. So I've been researching shakes I can get. And today I bought a container that has 32 servings in it.  I had one for lunch, to make sure I can handle the taste, my son had one because he wanted to taste mommies and then really liked it.  That leaves 30 of them, and I am ordering some more next week after pay day, hoping they arrive before I need them, though I can get some more at the store if I want to.

I'll be using HCG as well, I'm torn over whether to try the patches again or not.  And I plan on doing simple Leslie, 1 mile a day, plus some outside walks with child and dog.  I am determined to lose 30 pounds, well I think it's 32 now actually... sigh... And then stick to primal.  I will  use these shakes until I get there, and am buying just what I need for 45 days, twice a day.  At that point I'll change up the workouts as well, maybe try the Firm Express rotation.  Right now I am getting frustrated with myself and need to get this under control. I refuse to be fat!!  Loading is a bit of a sticking point with me, I hate it.  And I'm not very good at it.  My hope is that the shakes, with their high protein content, low carb, will keep me full and satisfied more than a meal, and will prevent me from cheating.  We'll see if it works.  I expect I will have eggs and veggies for breakfast on the weekend with my son, he tends to want what I am having and while I have no real issue with him having a shake too, I'd like him to eat solids a little more. 

Any way.  I know, another start.  One of these times it'll work, and stick, and I'll get where I want to be.  Hopefully before July when I hope to get a referral to a fertility doctor to start talking about having another baby.  I need to have my eating and health sorted out by then, and to be primal/paleo.  I want to be well into a workout plan, so I can continue that throughout as well.  So, ready, set, go!  I'm off on another round.  This one to finish. 

Stir Crazy

I've been home with a sick kid for the week.  It started Sunday when I was sick, I even called my sister to come get my kid because I was so bad.  Then he got it.  So we've been home, and I've been eating crap.  Haven't gained anything but certainly have not been following the plan I'm supposed to follow.  Or exercising.  I know I need to clean my act up, to start actually following the primal eating, to do what I say I'm going to do, but it's quite hard.  I'm not sure why it's so hard.  Even HCG, why is doing a second round so hard when I know that the results are so amazing?  And I have so much left still to lose. 

So.  I have a plan, but need to put a meal plan for the week down on paper.  That is part of the plan, planning my meals Friday night with the flyers, then shopping Saturday and cooking/prepping on the weekend.  So we're ready for the week.  I'd like to do one extra meal a week so when I have weeks like this, where we are home and things are shot, we can still eat healthy things.  And I hope that it will prepare me for days when I don't feel like cooking or something, I'll have a backup. 

I also plan on doing Leslie 3 times a week, I'd prefer in the morning to get it over with, but it'll be hard.  If I do one on the weekend, it can be a longer one, and the other two shorter ones during the week.  Walking the dog and baby are also in the plans, and in a few more weeks, weekend bike rides with the kid.  Toning will fit in as well, just not totally sure which ones I'll do, probably some Jari.  Or possibly KCM.  Maybe even the Firm, so you see my dilemma?  :-)  Too many workouts to choose from!

I will do another round of HCG, I am determined to make it work, 20 pounds at least, then the last 10 or so I can do a more conventional way if I need to.  I'm sure if I had done something more conventional I'd be down some of that already, but I have a hard time with regular diets.  So crazy me, I'll jump back on the HCG wagon and go for a round 2. 

Off to plan... and make a grocery list. 

Changes and Attempts

I've given up on the patches, they may work for some people but not for me.  Heck the drops barely worked, I was taking twice what most people do on them.  So I am back to drops, re-loaded sort of, and tomorrow start VLCD again.  Again.  AGAIN!!  I am so ready to lose weight and stop with this start and stuff crap.  It's annoying.  I have 30 pounds to get off me here, that's no small order after all.  That just gets me to healthy, and I still want to be a little into that.  I am hopeful that going primal afterwards, and really HCG is basically primal as well (without the melba toast), will get me to my goals.  I will try and deal with the hunger, and focus on the goal.  I want so much to be thinner, to get into some nice little clothes and stop the jiggles.

I got all the DVD's I ordered on sale, I have so many to use now, different trainers, even one beginner kettlebell workout, I look forward to trying that one, one I get a kettlebell...  I have a variety, but most of the cardio is Leslie, I do like her basic style, I don't have to think, don't have to learn fancy steps, don't need to really think when I do it, that is the best part really.  And of course they work, you put as much into it as you want to.  Walk, jog, whatever, just as long as you keep moving.  I also prefer high rep low weight workouts, though I know the benefits of  heavy weights, I just prefer the way my body responds to high rep workouts.  When I did slim in 6 years ago, combined with some extra Leslie, I think I looked my best then.  And my best then was not really the best I'd like to look. Make sense?

So I'm back on the drops, and tomorrow start losing again, I hope it doesn't take too long to get to 20 pounds.  That is about when I am willing to consider stopping, but it will depends on how long it takes and how things are going.  I will get to my 40 pounds goal by September for sure, that is many months to figure it out.  Beyond that, we'll see what happens!

Loading

Oh my.  I didn't load like this last time.  I am so full!  I am hoping this means I'm doing it right and it'll work, and I won't be hungry (I expect a bit of hunger the first couple days).  I've had nuts, chocolate, chicken thighs cooked in coconut oil, a muffin, eggs and cheese, salmon/mayo salad.  I've also had 3 coffee with lots of cream.  And I have chips and dip in the kitchen to eat... though I'm so full I'm not sure I can... but I will do my best! 

Tomorrow I start VLCD and have some stuff already cooked, though I will need a few more things to make on the weekend.  I should be good for awhile.  I am happy to get to the losing phase again, and to actually stick to it.  I need to do this!  My goal is 26 pounds from my last weight, which puts me right at "healthy".  Honestly, 30 pounds would be fabulous but I only have 40 days lol.  After that I plan to do primal/paleo and exercise to get the rest off.  I'd ideally like to be about 125 or so in the end, though we'll see as I get closer.  I do not think I'll need to do a third full round but who knows!  Of course I also plan to have another baby so that will put some weight back on.  My hope is that the primal/paleo eating will do well to keep my weight healthy while pregnant, and keep baby healthy, and help me stave off gestational diabetes, which I had last time.  I hope to avoid it this time, as well as the pre-eclampsia I ended up with, though they never called it that, my blood pressure went up and I had to do a 24 hour urine test which led to me being induced and having my boy 2 weeks early.  If I can avoid that this time I'd be very happy! 

So my goals are clear, and I am ready to do this.  I have a bit more to eat tonight I guess... lovely lol. Who ever thought I'd not want to eat!!  Crazy.  Oh well!!  Hopefully it's a sign of the way I'll end up?  I look forward to the next 6 weeks, seeing the scale go down, and then to eating some normal stuff and avoiding grains forever.  And ever.  Oh my.  :-)

Round 2, take 2

Tomorrow I start again.  I am still debating what to do, use the patches or not.  I am thinking I will try with 2 and see how it goes, I really only plan to do 40 days any way, and am hoping I lose what I want to lose in that time. After that I will transition to a Primal/Paleo way of eating, and exercising, and drag kiddo along for the ride. 

I picked up a few things for loading, not a tonne, I really only plan to load one day since I am technically on a PI, of less than 2 weeks, so I think 1 day should do it.  We'll see I guess!  If the patches don't work I will switch to drops pretty quickly, but hopefully they do work for me. 

I have a few more videos on the way, and will be using them after HCG is done.  I plan to walk, with kiddo and puppy, weather permitting, while in P2.  I may do a bit of toning as well, depending on how I feel.  And sleep, sleep will be important for sure. I should be sleeping now but for some reason I am not.

I am hoping to get a light alarm clock, it acts like sunrise, starting to brighten a half hour before you get up.  I believe you can set music to it as well, I am hoping that the music starts when the light is full on, not as it starts to increase, but we'll see!  I can use my clock radio as back up until I'm sure the new one works and wakes me up.  Course I also have a kid who tends to get up early.  He got up at 6 or 6:30 every day we were at my parent's for Easter.  Crazy.  I hope he sleeps better tomorrow, though not too well since he has daycare. He'll be thrilled because he gets to play outside, which he loves.  I wish I loved it as much lol.

So tomorrow I will be eating eggs and cheese for breakfast, taking salad with avocado, salmon and olive oil dressing for lunch, cheesecake for a snack, some nuts and seeds to snack on as well.  Then dinner is chicken thighs, cooked in coconut oil, with some veggies, and a piece of cake for dessert.  I also have some chips and dip for evening snack, lots of fats and oils, nuts etc.  Hopefully it works out!  Hopefully the patches keep me from being hungry.  Wednesday I start the VLCD and voila... 6 weeks to a healthy weight... right? :-) 

Reading, Research and Sugar

My son and I are visiting my parent's for Easter.  My dad is doing Atkins so is carb free, but my mom, the diabetic, still eats carbs because her blood sugar drops too low (I'd suggest she lower her does of insulin but what do I know).  For Easter my dad got me some e-books, including Primal Blueprint and Paleo Solution.  Both are similar and interesting, and flow into the reading I've done already by Taubes and Wheatbelly.  Grains are bad.  Now sayign that and living it are very different things.  Our society is very much geared to including grains as part of life, and really it's hard to drop them.  Not impossible of course, but certainly hard.  I have been indulging in my last fling with these things as when I get back to home it will be back on HCG for a round (contrary to both primal and paleo ways of eating I'm sure) and then on to the rest of my life at a different way of eating.

For Easter my son got a lot of chocolate.  And we are experiencing the effects of that now, he had more than a few little eggs this morning and is refusing to nap.  Perhaps at just over 2 he doesn't really need a nap, but he certainly needs the rest and quiet time, so I'm leaving him to it, and will go get him in another half hour if he isn't asleep yet.  An hour for mommy to clear her head lol, even with my parent's to help watch him he is still exhausting because of course only mommy will do in many cases. 

My parent's are also a bit frustrating to me when it comes to how he eats.  I did baby led weaning with him, so he ate what I ate, in stick shape and fashion, in as much quantity as he desired.  He still eats what I eat in moderation, when I am doing HCG I will make him different veggies and offer him carbs with them (though I guess I don't really need to do that part).  My parent's keep saying things like "finish your dinner or you can't go outside to play" and "eat all your chicken or you have to go to bed".  It's more than a little annoying to me, because I simply don't buy into that.  I have tried very hard to let my kids natural instincts with food lead his way, I do not force him to eat but he is offered what I am having, if he chooses not to eat, so be it!  He makes up for it later, and if you average out his days, weeks, months, he is a very healthy little guy.  I am not really sure what to do about my parent's, they mean well but they are so old fashioned in this that it's hard to deal with.  I'm a single mom so its not like there is another person to back me up.  We'll manage, I keep my mouth shut and when he's done eating, he's done and we carry on. 

I have started taking him for walks with the dog, as in he walks with me instead of being pushed in the stroller.  He will still get rides as I plan to restart jogging, and he won't keep up with that, and biking, which he's not big enough for yet.  But we can go for a nice walk around the block all together and enjoy the sites and fresh air and all of it.  I plan to continue that when we get home, and I am sure it will benefit us both. 

I read Primal Blueprint and found it interesting, his ideas about exercise are good, I believe I can integrate some of that into my life, using videos because, well, I like videos.  I have a wide variety and will use them as I like, without following a set schedule, attempting to do 2 toning workouts and 3 "cardio" workouts, plus one more intense workout every week, but if I don't get them all in that's ok too.  Add in the leisurely walks and bike rides in summer, that should be a good start.  The cardio I do is mostly Leslie Sansone, walking, and bits of jogging, it is as intense as you make it.  I do sweat a bit but am not  usually drenched unless I really push myself.  Toning I have much more variety, and a couple on the way, so will enjoy them as well.  I think mixing those up will be the best way to go, and then I can do whichever ones I feel like doing.  Some are 20 minutes, and some are 30, a few are longer but they can be split up. 

Considering I am a biologist by training, and my main interest lies in ecology, the interaction of nature, I find all of the talk of the way things were as hunter gatherers quite interesting.  Once upon a time I wanted to go live in a cave and grow my own food, cut off from society.  I have mostly given up on that dream but still hold onto the dream of a self sufficient life, growing food, using solar and wind power, collecting water in cisterns, having a well.  Living surrounded by nature.  The problem with all of that now of course is I am no longer alone, I have my son to worry about, and am hopeful of having another child some point sooner than later, so it becomes about them more than me.  Maybe when I retire...

In any case.  Reading and learning this weekend, eating too much of what I shouldn't, no scale to tell me how badly I've done.  But back to work and losing as of Tuesday.  I believe I will be able to hit "healthy" with one more round of HCG, and then on into it with primal/paleo/grain free eating.  Life is looking up, and looking good. 

Going Primal, or Paleo, or Something

I'm on a break from HCG.  The patches just do not work for me, so I'll be doing the drops again when I get back from Easter, until then I am going primal, or paleo?  I guess it's primal since I'm including dairy.  I'm dragging my son along with me, though of course he's too young to know it.  He will get lots of fruits and vegetables, and some whole grains in small doses.  And getting wheat out (pasta, bread, etc) will take a bit of effort as he loves both, but we can do this, and our health will be better for it.  I wish I had done it sooner, so that by now it was second nature to both of us, but I can't change the past so will just keep going. 

I didn't quite make it back to my lowest weight, but I'm ok with that.  I know that I can get there if I want to.  When I'm ready to.  Soon.  I will get to a healthy weight.  And I am too impatient to do it with just the better way of eating, so I will do HCG again, and will succeed at it.  I can take some hunger but not what I was experiencing on the patches.  I guess they just don't work for me.  Ah well, I know that the drops do, though they are of course much more of a pain to remember to take and to not eat or drink either side of. 

Right now I have a cheesecake in the oven.  I won't be able to eat it until morning of course, but that's ok, might make a good breakfast, all healthy stuff in it actually.  It should be pretty tasty by morning, I hope!  Costly for sure too.  No carbs of course.  I know that going forward I will need to limit these indulgences, even though they are low carb and made from good ingredients, they are still not getting back to the essence of primal, so while I know they will have a place, I want to get to a place where I don't need them. 

I also ordered a few more workouts, like I need more that I don't do lol, but I will.  I need to.  I am wondering if I can do them with my son around, like when he's awake rather than waiting til he goes to bed or whatever.  He is quite good at playing by himself, but he would likely try and do the workout with me, for the walking ones that isn't an issue, but some of the others would be too much for him. Of course seeing me workout would be good for him, to see that I do this.  Might help him to do it too when he's older.

Back to preload

Weight that is.  Managed to lose everything I gained through my eat fest of loading.  I am still not back to LDW which is 1 lb away, or even my lowest weight which is 2 lbs below that, I cheated terribly mid-round last time and though I dropped low I couldn't maintain it because of the cheating.  I am better prepared this time.  Both in knowing when to stop, and in hopefully not cheating!

I am hungry, but I know that's just because it's the first few days, and I probably didn't eat enough loading as I never got to that stuffed full place because I was sick. Oh well... I am sure I'll manage! 

I talked to a friend I haven't talked to in ages and told her what I'm doing, turns out she tried last year in the fall and had a bad reaction, really low blood pressure and then lots of hair loss. She has tried so many things to lose weight, she went to Mexico to get lap band surgery... which she had to have reversed because it made her so ill.  I can't imagine all she's been through and she hates herself for her weight, going back to her mother putting her in weight watchers at a very young age.  I don't think I am quite that bad, I don't hate myself I just hate the health issues I'm in line to get.  That worries me so I'm doing something about it. 

I have tried lots of diets and the traditional exercise more, eat less calories in/out theory.  None of it worked well enough for me to stick to it.  This I know works, and is fast enough that I can stick to it for the 6 weeks I need to.  I am hoping that I will be able to get to my end goal with this round, but may need to cycle a bit.  We'll see how it goes I guess. 

I think part of my issue now is anger, I am mad at the health care and doctors who promote these ideas of eat whole grains, eat lots of carbs, eat low fat, and knowing the research that was done, which doesn't support that theory, I get angry.  How can we as a population be so deceived?  It doesn't seem right and it makes me question so much about what we are told.  I am worried about my son, he is only 2 and has his whole life ahead of him, I do not want him battling these same issues as he gets older, so how do I prevent it?  I have been so indoctrinated with the low fat, high carb lifestyle that I am finding it hard to let go of that.  He is a little kid, he doesn't really get a say.  I know he loves his pasta, and other starches, how do I change that now? 

I am angry at the conventional advice for weaning babies too, do you think they had purees in paleo times?  No, babies went from mother's milk to food.  I did do some of that in going with baby led weaning, he ate what I did, but it seems to have faltered somewhere along the way, and he now eats the same crap that I do.  I wasn't able to hold my diet to a better standard, partly because of faulty advice from the diet community, and partly because of my own issues.  So now I have this guilt over the way he's starting, and I need to fix it.

This weight loss journey is proving difficult, not because of the weight loss, but because of what I am learning, and how much it means.  I know that in these losing days I need to be setting my habits up to continue to do things like make meals, plan meals, shop smart, and feed my son well.  So it's about more than just eating few calories or taking some magic drops.  This is my life and I am reclaiming it.

Begin again

Today is VLCD 1.  And I'm kind of hungry, trying to eat only when I am hungry and just until the hunger is gone.  Problem of course is that I get hungrier when I stop eating, which is weird, but I think I am normally like that so it's not a big deal.  I hope to wake up a couple pounds lighter, at least the "loading weight" I put on yesterday.  I don't think I loaded as well as I should have, it seems something always happens so I don't do as much as I could.  But hopefully it was enough, or I'll end up not doing very well at all.  My goal this round is 145.  I'd obviously like to get lower but we'll see what happens.

Today I ate more than 500 calories, I added a protein shake to my morning as "breakfast" and that put me at 650 calories today.  I'm not too concerned about that, and will likely have the same thing most mornings especially is I am hungry in the morning.  Better than getting a donut or pastry at work. 

I am eager to get the weight off, and get to maintenance again, and to not have to do any more rounds, though that remains to be seen of course.  I am motivated to do this, and to lose the weight for sure.  I am reading a lot about wheat, gluten, carbs, hunger and low carb diets.  Decoding the science underlying it all, and finding it interesting that the same basic principals mean different things depending on who is writing about them.  That is why I say I'm decoding it.  I am trying to put it all together in a way that makes sense and that I can live with.  I get eating only when hungry, my problem is normally that I am always hungry.  But I also eat too much, even of good things, especially when I am enjoying it. 

Many years ago I saw a nutritionist to help me lose weight, it didn't help but I remember telling her I'd had a bunch of asparagus for supper, like a lot, and her telling me just because it was good, and good for me, doesn't mean I should over eat it.  That's about all I got out of my sessions with her.  I do tend to do that, even with things that are good for me, like asparagus, but also with chips and french fries, pizza.  Oh pizza.  It is remarkable to me that I can overeat on healthy things, but I know it's true. 

I will be reading more over my P2, and trying to figure out what it all means, and means to me.  I am determined to make my life healthy, and my son's life healthy.  If that means giving up bread and pasta, rice and chips, well then so be it.  I am hoping that I will discover we can both have these things on occasion, not necessarily weekly but hopefully biweekly.  I do want to set us up so that he grows up healthy and I maintain without too much effort.  We'll see how it goes but I am determined to make this work. 

Loading, and being sick

I started loading today and it is not as easy as I had thought it would be.  But I'm also sick.  About half way through the day my nose, throat and all the usual cold symptoms showed up, I feel horrible and should probably be in bed.  I will be staying home from work tomorrow and hopefully feeling better before the weekend since of course I have my kiddo to look after and whether he's sick or not he'll have lots of energy. 

I am full at least, and have eaten quite a bit, I have had cake, pizza, bacon, chips, many things.  I feel a bit ill from all of that too, so it's not really a great day lol.  But I am determined to do this and feel like I can get to a good place before my mini vacation.  Obviously I didn't go running today, which is fine, I'll get there again. 

All this food is sure to get my a big number on the scale tomorrow but I will try to remember that it's for a good reason and will come off soon.  Sunday will be my first VLCD so Monday morning I should wake up to a nice loss and be motivated to keep going even at work.  I guess no more big coffee's at work. How sad... However, I will hopefully be able to get some McDonald's dinner and maybe even breakfast this weekend.  It should all be good, and I also hope to have some nachos!  Mmm nachos. 

There are a few things I will miss in P2 but it's temporary, just until around Mother's Day this round, hopefully I'll lose what I want in that time but I am resigned to a round 3.  I don't really believe I can lose even with just a no carb diet, HCG is the only thing I've been able to stick to and see a loss with... so I will keep at that.  And rely on it to get me where I want to be.  It works.

Post 50, Hmm

This is my 50th post on this blog.  I have been feeling like it's time to get going again.  I maintained well in P3, ending at 1lb over my last dose weight, and have been staying there the past few days as well.  I am eager to lose more.  I had originally not wanted to be in P2 or on a PI at Easter because of going to visit my parents.  However, they are doing a low carb diet, so that fits with a PI, and if I happen to have an Easter egg or two... well I think I can handle that.  Looking at my schedule I am going to start loading tomorrow, and go with it.  I believe I'm ovulating which explains why I am hungry, so a good time to load lol.  Plus I may loose another 5 to 10 lbs before Easter, which would be very nice before seeing my parents again too.  So tomorrow I pop on a patch and eat like a pig. Easy peasy.

I do plan to keep exercising, and start the couch to 5k training while in P2, which is probably against the rules, but I feel better doing that.  I may have a protein shake for breakfast in order to keep up the exercise and add in the protein I'll need to do a good job with it. 

I have been reading Why We Get Fat, which is all about carbs and the folly of the low fat, high carb, more out than in diets, and it's interesting.  I know when I get to where I want to get too I will need to limit my carbs, for the rest of my life, however, I think I can live with that, if I eat pizza one day it means the next I have to make up for it.  That is doable to me, and I cannot see giving up entirely everything that I love, but can see having pasta or rice once a week instead of daily, and using bread, potatoes and sugar as treats instead of daily necessities. 

The book goes into detail about how exercise doesn't really do much, but I do think it helps to shape the body we  have, I mean it builds muscle after all and that is something I want to do, so I will keep it up, and use the dvd's I have to keep myself in the shape I want.  I am hopeful that it will also help me increase my energy and be able to keep up with my kid (and hopefully kids in future).  I find the theory interesting, especially having lived P3 to maintain for a few weeks.  I know that I can do it, though it is not easy, and certainly there are things I missed that I did have on occasion, but say that I could recover from it with ease.  Or relative ease any way. 

So tomorrow I put a patch on and Monday morning I should wake up lighter than I have been.  Happy day.  If I can get to healthy this round, by May 9th, I will be thrilled and possibly done.  I can do a round after that of course but getting to healthy and perhaps a bit into it is the goal.  The only real goal, clothes are the bonus that comes with it.  I will do it and I can do it, though I know it won't be easy, I can certainly enjoy it.  And see that it's short term, 6 weeks.  Voila. 

Last day of P3

Today is my last day of P3, and I am at 1 lb above my last drop weight, so not too shabby!  I am hoping to lose 3 or 4 pounds while in P4 but am not going to stress over that, I'll keep doing what I've been doing but will try and decrease my portions a bit and increase my exercise.  The weather promises to be quite nice, if not a little too warm for March, this week, so I should be able to get out for a walk/run everyday.  At least that's the plan. 

I have a coffee cake in the oven and it smells so good!  It's a different one from the last because I didn't have the right ingredients for that one, so this one is a cinnamon one and I'm sure it will be very tasty.  I can't wait for it to be ready to eat mmm. 

My parent's are doing a low carb diet so when I am down there for Easter at the end of my P4 I'll be doing that as well, kind of like in P3.  I will be loading when I get back and back on P2 then.  I am eager to lose more, and am hoping this break has reset my motivation to keep going and stick to the plan properly. I will be prepared, I'll do some cooking before we go down to my parent's so that everything is ready when I start.  I am also looking forward to loading :-)  There are a few things I haven't really had since I started, even though I have cheated, so I look forward to eating chips, and having some chocolate, pizza and burgers.  Fish and chips, nachos!  I have big plans lol.  Hopefully my son goes along with it. 

I plan to get to healthy during my next round, that is 25 lbs or so from where I am now.  Of course I'd love to get a bit into healthy to give me some wiggle room, but I will be happy at healthy.  People who haven't seen me in awhile have commented that I have lost a lot of weight, and when I tell them I want to lose 40 more, they say I'll be skin and bones, things like that.  It's kind of funny.  I don't see myself that way at all, I still see myself as I was 20, even 40 pounds ago.  I know I have lost, my clothes fit differently, and I look better in stuff that I used to wear, somethings are just too big.  But in the mirror, I still see my belly and flabby arms and everything else all wibbly wobbly.  So I know I have a long way to go, I guess I am just good at disguising it all?  Who knows. 

Cake smells almost done so I'm off to try it out.  I'll let it cool a little maybe :-)

Spring! maybe

The weather today is fabulous!  Was fabulous I guess since it's dark out now and the day is pretty much done.  I played hooky from work... and really enjoyed it.  The past month at work has been a bit stressful for me, I've made a few decisions about which position to take, who to work with, and then things really hit the fan yesterday, with blame falling on me for someone else's mistakes.  So I stayed home.  I went out and bought some more almond flour, and some psyllium to make some wraps with.  I also got some new running shoes that I hope work out for me.  And then I took the dog for a nice walk.  He pulled a lot but he was rather excited to get out, and it must have done him some good as he's now sleeping belly up on the couch snoring... Which is what I am tempted to be doing too.  I also read a book! 

My kid was pretty fun this evening too, he's so adorable I can barely stand it lol.  And we ate a horrible dinner of junk food, that we both enjoyed.  Then I did my workout after he went to bed.  And voila! Day is done.  I am glad the weather is finally nice, it looks like it's going to cool off a bit again but then be nice by Sunday.  My dog will be happy to get out, I think my son will as well.  I might have found room in the garage for the stroller, but I don't think I'll be able to get it in and out with the car in there too, but we'll see how it goes.  At least it will be out of the hallway! 

Any way.  Things are going well still, P3 is fabulous lol, though I think with all my cheats I'm a little more P4, but stable nonetheless.  I like that.  It still amazes me that this plan works, and I can't wait to get to it again.  I am determined to be healthy before summer!  Whether I will have to do another round after that is still debatable, but I am up for anything.

Coffee Cake

Did another workout, and it was good, covers everything in 20 minutes.  Not the best I'm sure but it's enough and feel effective to me.  Especially since I haven't worked out in quite awhile, and am just getting back to it.  I'll up the time and effort when I can, and when I have time, but for now, well 20 minutes works!

I ate way too much of the coffee cake last night and yesterday, it was great, so yummy!!  I will make that again for sure.  I still have a few pieces left, though not much. I took some to work today and gave it away to friends.  They all enjoyed it as well.  I will be trying a few more things for sure, there is a low carb cheesecake as well. 

I am enjoying the way this P3 eating feels, and what it does for my body.  I am stable mable, and like the fact I can eat basically whatever I want, in moderation.  I can find substitutions for many things.  I do miss chips, but will try them again when I reach P4 in another couple weeks.  In moderation of course.  I am not willing to eat rutabaga chips.  Ever.  There are other things I will eat officially at that time, but for now, I will enjoy being this weight and eating what I do.  I don't miss somethings, like bread, or most fruit.  I do miss my coffee mate, cream is great, but coffee mate is better :-) 

I made rice for my son to go with dinner, and he loved it... what a mess... but I wasn't even tempted to eat any.  I had pork chops with Brussels sprouts and mushrooms.  It was very good, though the pork could have used a little more flavour.  Marinating it would have been a good idea.  I have a roast to do in the crock pot this week, with some mashed cauliflower.  I need to get carrots for munchin before I make it, so probably won't be until Thursday.  I'm debating taking Wednesday off, since the weather is supposed to be great compared to the rest of this week, sunny and above 0.  I might even take the dog out for a walk.  I could get a few chores done, get to bulk barn among other places, and possibly find a place for my new stroller in the garage.  That's the only place I can think it'll fit, and that's going to be tight. 

Any way.  P3 is going well, and I'm finding my body is reacting well to this way of eating, I haven't had any real IBS issues, whether it's the reduced carbs themselves or gluten or what I don't know, and won't really until I get a bit further along in the process.  But I can live like this for the most part, with occasional indulgences and a day or two after to recover.  That is what surprises me, I eat badly for one day and two days later I'm back down to my LDW.  Now if only round 2 will go better than round 1.  I am better prepared, and know better what to load on, so I am hopeful it'll go great.  I want it to.  I'd like to lose 26 pounds, to get to my healthy weight, though I also know a third round would then be in order.  So of course more would be better, and this is all assuming I don't lose anything on P4.

I found an app for my phone for the couch to 5k, which I can't wait to try out.  I am looking forward to jogging again, especially with less pounds on me.  When I was younger I enjoyed running, and I think I can again if it wasn't so hard on my knees and other parts.  I know it will be hard to push the stroller, and fight the dog, but I think it'll work out ok.  I am sure the dog will also enjoy the running, and work off some of his energy, good for everyone. 

Exercise and experiments

So far I've done 6 days of workouts, and am feeling good about that.  I do about 20 minutes after the baby goes to bed.  It's just enough to keep me feeling like I'm doing something, but easy to fit in.  When the weather is nicer we will add in walks/jogging almost daily, and I look forward to that.  I did do an extra 45 minutes Leslie walk yesterday which was kind of nice as well.  I hope to do 30 minutes tonight, so we'll see how that goes!

I have a low carb coffee cake in the oven and wow does it smell good!  I can't believe it... I hope it tastes as good as it smells!  It's an experiment using almond flour, which is not cheap!  But it should be good, I hope.  I can't wait for it to finish baking lol.  I tried to make some peanut butter cookies yesterday using my old recipe but using no salt/sugar peanut butter, and they are not very good, very crumbly which makes them hard to eat, and dry, so you need lots of water with them. I'll still eat them I'm sure, but not with as much joy as I used to with my cookies. 

My weight is still stable.  I was up a little yesterday but I expected that after eating something I shouldn't have, and back down this morning so it worked out.  Last night for supper I made "pasta" using zucchini for the "noodles" and a lovely sauce with tomatoes, beef and mushrooms.  It was really good, and I had leftovers for lunch today which was wonderful. 

I've got some lunches made up for the week, and am ready to go!  I am determined to do better and stop the big cheats.  I know I can't really lose any more weight right now, but I wouldn't mind getting a little lower in my safe range.  I look forward to P4 when I can lose, maybe, and to getting back to P2 after Easter so I can get to healthy.  That is my goal for round 2.  I am at this point thinking I will have to do 3 rounds, but the third will wait until fall I think.  I intend to keep up with the exercise while in P2 this time, and will stick with walking, and my 20 minute easy workouts. 

I think my parent's are considering this diet as well.  My mom is diabetic so it would be hard for her, but I think it's doable, and I wish she would try it because I worry about her health, I want my son to have his Nanny around for along time!  But we'll see if we can talk  about it when I go down at Easter, right before I do my second round, and  when I plan to really enjoy pre-loading lol.

Enjoying P3

So far so good. I'm stable!  I've been within a less than 2lb range every morning, even after my horrendous cheat at the bridal shower (I ate bread...) and am enjoying the expanded range of foods.  I am trying to be good and no carb, it's funny that the bread didn't taste good to me, and I've not been missing the usual suspects like pasta, rice and potatoes.  I am hoping this is a good sign.

I've been trying to eat a big breakfast, but not quite up to BAB territory.  I just have a hard time eating that much protein for breakfast when I'm not that hungry.  I am doing pretty well, big breakfast, salad lunch and protein/veggie dinner.  Not much in the way of snacks unless I'm really hungry or, more likely, craving something.  I haven't had chips in moths... which is bizarre because I am a chip-o-holic.  But so far everything is going well. 

I even did a workout last night, 20 minutes and it was easy but felt good to move.  I'll try and keep that up, and may even start doing morning workouts if kiddo would just stay asleep a bit longer.  20 minutes, twice a day, should have me toning up.  I'm not doing it to lose weight really, HCG is good for that thanks, but just to help reshape what I have left.  I did PowerFit workout 1 for shoulders and legs.  It moves along quickly which I like, since it helps me from being bored. 

I was quite bad and ordered a couple new Leslies, longer ones that I can do 1, 2, 3 etc miles from and don't have to do the whole thing.  I love Leslie for being simple to follow, and good for early morning when I don't want to think.  The last time I lost weight I was doing Slim in 6 every morning on an empty stomach and then cardio in the evening, usually Leslie for what started as 1 mile and then was 3 and I was craving more.  Funny how that was.  I might get back there, but not until I've lost the weight I'm sure. 

I also ordered the stroller combo I want, it is so awesome and I can't wait to get it, and put it together :-)  I am sure we'll get a lot of use out of it, though I will also have to get a bike, probably in May or so (for Mother's Day).  I should be lighter by then too so it'll be much easier to bike and run with fewer pounds on me.  Even last night the exercise was easier because I am 20 pounds less than last time I did a workout.  Easier to bend with less belly in the way...

I made Oopsie Rolls yesterday, don't think I cooked them quite long enough but they are tasty, added to the protein in my breakfast this morning.  And some coconut flour brownies, which are a bit, well coconutty.  I am hoping I can find something else to replace that, but we'll see.  The oopsie rolls were actually pretty easy to make, and I was impressed that I did it.  Course I have my new mixer and it really did all the work.  I am looking forward to getting my mixer recipe book, and am tempted to look for a good low carb cook book for baking.  But that will have to wait a few pay cheques I think.  The brownies were also easy to do, but didn't turn out as chocolatey as I might have liked.  I'm sure I can modify them, or maybe use a better cocoa?  Not sure but I'll experiment a bit.  Maybe I'll try almond flour next time... who knows!  I'm taking one to work for the afternoon when cravings hit.  I am taking a couple in to share too.  Actually should take a few as I don't think they'll last long.  Only a pair of oopsie rolls left... they will be eaten tomorrow :-) mmm. 

P3 intermission

I took my patch off Friday so I'm in P3 now, or tomorrow?  Not sure but either way I've been maintaining so far.  I just got to a point I didn't see the point in continuing, I was cheating and feeling sorry for myself too much.  I am happier to be able to eat more, but will do a second round after Easter.  I will also start my workouts tomorrow again.  I'll be using PowerFit, all 3 versions, for 20 minutes 3 or 4 times a week, plus some Leslie walks and real walks weather permitting.  I'll start the couch to 5 k again probably in April or so... depends how I do with the walking etc and when I start P2 again. 

I'm hoping to maintain around 169, but we'll see how it goes.   I was quite bad today, went to a bridal shower and ate way too much yummy bad for me food.  Oh well... I'll do better the rest of the week.  and get some healthy stuff at Costco and Bulk Barn this week.  I got my tax refund and am getting an awesome jogging stroller/bike trailer combo, and bike in May lol.  So I'll be able to take kiddo jogging & biking this summer.  Looking forward to the option.

I'm going to try some coconut flour and almond flour to cook, I got a new mixer that is awesome and I look forward to using it!  I hope to make some oopsie rolls, and a few other things as well. Starting tomorrow, since I don't think I'm going to work.

I'm tired, and the place is a disaster, and there is still a lot to do.  I feel a bit guilty but work is suddenly sorting itself out a bit, so it's a good time to go.  Right now, I'm very tired and thinking I might go to bed early... like really early.  Like in a few minutes.  Yawn.

Work in progress

My decision to eat 3 meals, instead of 2, seems to be working.  I'm not cheating and this morning woke to a 1 pound loss, so I am exactly 22lbs less than when I started, and in the 160's.  Crazy.  I am happy with the decision, and look forward to these last two weeks of VLCD before moving into P3 & 4.  I had thought to not exercise until P4 but am changing my mind and will be starting my 20 minute PowerFit workouts in P3, along with couch to 5k for cardio.  I am getting a jogging/cycling stroller next week or so, and will be taking my son along with me for that.  I'll add in bike rides once the weather improves, and I get a bike lol.  I hope that taking kiddo along with me will show him how to be active and energized.  I also hope it will help to tighten my up. 

It's crazy that I have lost 1/3 of the weight I want to lose, and am well on my way to my goal.  But what surprises me sometimes is that when I was younger, say high school and university, I was about 125lbs, a little less or more.  And thought I was huge.  Like terrible.  How bad is that?  I mean I was at a healthy weight, and was able to wear things I can't even imagine wearing now. But still, I thought I was big and ugly.  Then about 8 years ago I lost some weight, and was about 165lbs, and thought I was fabulous.  But I was still bigger, about where I am now actually... how crazy is it that my imagine is so messed up I can't really see myself for how I really look.  It makes me sad.  I know that I have a ways to go, for sure, but I have come pretty far too. 

I can do this, and improve my body imagine.  I can look how I want, and feel pretty and fabulous.  I can be healthy and fit, and a good example for my son.  We shall see what tomorrow morning brings on the scale.  But for tonight, it's time for bed, and hopefully a good loss over night.  Or at least a loss of some sort.

Trying a new way

I've been stuck, and cheating a lot.  Part of it is hunger, but the hunger should not be unbearable really, and doesn't equate with what I've been eating.  So I know a lot of it is emotional.  I need to really figure out why I am sabotaging myself.  I think part of it is that I don't think I'll really get there, that although I have been losing a lot I won't actually meet my goals, so why bother trying.  And part of it is, what happens if I do get there?  What's next?  Add in the fact that I see in the mirror the same me I saw 20, even 40 pounds ago, and it's hard to imagine what will be. 

I have decided to try 3 meals a day instead of 2.  My hope is partly that because I will have the proper, healthy choices, available at work, I won't eat the crap I have been. It is has stalled my losses, of course, though I have been good about not gaining too much back, .4 lbs so far which really is nothing.  That does give me a big boost that when it comes time to stabilize I shouldn't have too much trouble with that.  My calories for a day should be about 750 instead of 500, I don't think it will slow my losses that much, and should give me the decrease in hunger that will help with the cheating, and having the stuff available should be helpful as well.  I only have two weeks left really, so I can do this for two weeks.  I know I won't lose 15 more pounds that I'd like, but even 7 or 8 would be awesome and I'll take it. 

I have moments when I'm almost excited to add exercise in.  I know it will shape me up nicely, and that will be nice to see.  I don't really want to start that until phase 4, just because I don't want my body to expect to get it to maintain my losses.  In phase 4 I can lose more if I want, or if it happens.  So that is fine too.  I will have to do at least one more round, I have no doubt of that.  I am nowhere near healthy weight yet.  And won't be in 2 weeks.  But I can get closer. 

Part of my stress and overeating is related to work, I have accepted a new job and I'm not sure I should have.  I really like my current manager, I like working for him, and I have learned so much from him.  But there are other factors involved, and I need to move on.  But it's making me a bit sad, and a tad annoyed that he didn't "fight" for me.  I can only hope I'm making the right choice I guess.  But it's causing stress, which is causing chocolate bars to find their way into my hands.  And mouth.  And there you go... I need to deal with that, and face it.  It seems silly I'm sure, I mean either way I have a great job that pays really well, but it's just hard to change I guess.  Change is hard. 

Fading

I'm having a hard time and I'm not quite sure why.  I have been cheating almost daily, ok daily, for about a week.  Which of course translates into not much of a loss.  I need to figure out what is driving this.  I really wanted to reach a goal this round, 15 pounds less than where I am, and I am not sure I'll get there now.  Or when.  I am not quite clear on why I am cheating so much, I have some hunger, but it's not enough to lead me to what I've been doing.  I really need to figure out what I am doing, and more importantly why. 

I do hope that I am not sabotaging myself on purpose. I believe that I want to accomplish this, to be thin and fit and fabulous.  But I hate being hungry, and know that I find this hard.  And work has been stressful lately, so maybe it's stress?  I don't know.  Can't blame TOM any more, that's over.  So it has to be something else.

I was very happy to get to 170.  Can you imagine?  I mean it's 21.4 lbs down, and so close to goals, and lower than I have been in about 8 years.  Crazy.  Still a long way to go though.  I want to be healthy!!  I want to be pretty. 

I have roughly two weeks of patches left.  I really want to do this for two weeks.  If I can lose 7 lbs, that would be awesome, it's not to goal but it's closer than I am now.  And maybe it would be enough for this round.  I do wish I wouldn't have to do another round, but I will have to, so I need to get it together and finish this round strongly so I know I can do the next one too.  I will have to figure out a way.  The long weekend might help, I do better when I'm at home, less temptation, and perhaps that will be enough to get me back on track. 

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Today I turned 37.  It's a pretty odd year for me, it's that much closer to 40, and over the safe 35 that I liked, but I feel like I'm on a roll when it comes to my health and finances are finally getting sorted out.  I woke up to a 1.2lb loss, putting me at an even 20 pounds lost!  This is great, and I feel wonderful for having met that goal, and smashing the 10% lost goal to pieces.  I do have to keep going though, and today will likely result in a gain tomorrow :-)  I was rather bad at work, and for dinner, so we'll see how it ends up.

I ordered two pairs of pants two sizes smaller than I wear now. One size smaller would actually fit me now, but I suspect in another 10 to 15 pounds the ones I've ordered will be great, and that should be before the end of this 30 days on the patches.  I am quite pleased with my results so far, and am wearing things I haven't worn in a long time, though some are not as lovely on me as they once were, I'm getting there.

Tomorrow it's back to the VLCD and on track.  I want to get to my goal for the round, below it if possible of course, and feel like I can. 

All in all it was a great birthday. 

goal met

I was a little surprised when I got up this morning and the scale said I was down 1.6lbs!!  That is a whole pound below my mini goal, I am now officially only overweight, as opposed to obese!  Woo hoo for me :-)  I am finding I'm still a bit hungry on the patches, but am hoping that will let up as the patches work, and I get back into the swing of things. 

I guess I am a bit rogue, I have eaten some extra protein, and veggies that are not exactly on protocol, but I think close enough.  I am hoping it all works out any way.  I am hopeful that I can do this and get to my end goal.  Next goal is only 8 pounds away, yes I have a lot of mini goals along the way, I find it motivating to be hitting numbers I want to see.  The round I hope to lose another 18 pounds, but 23 would be better, and I am not sure I can actually do it. We'll see I guess!  That still won't  bring me to healthy weight but very close.  From there it will be easier to reach any way. 

PI done, on with the show!

I ended the planned interruption .2 lbs less than I started it.  Not too shabby, considering what I ate (which was not P3 friendly in all cases). It does make me think I'll be able to settle into P3 when the time comes, and stabilize well.

I'm using the patches now.  Put one on this morning, but I was already hungry, so that makes it tricky.  I did eat a little more than I should have but I believe I will be ok tomorrow.  I'm not hungry now, though I could eat of course.  I can see these working for a proper round, with loading etc.  I am looking forward to the 30 days on them now, and to hopefully losing another 17+ on them.  My goal is really 19 more pounds, that puts me at 155.  I'd love to get to 145 since that is "healthy" for me, but don't think I'll be able to do that in 30 days.  We'll see how it goes though.  I know I'll have to do one more round, whether it will be short or long remains to be seen. 

I have purchased some clothes that are currently too small, and will hopefully fit by the end of this round.  I have lost some inches, though not as many as I'd hoped for.  My pants are going to be an issue soon, falling down, but I don't want to buy a bunch of stuff in one size smaller to only need another size smaller in a few more weeks.  So I'll just have to figure out how to wear the clothes I have now.  Some new tops, tops I bought but have never worn, that now I can wear.  That is kind of nice. 

Planned Interuption

Well I'm on a PI, last drops were yesterday noon.  I was starving all day long, so I've decided to stop the drops until my patches arrive.  I hope that they arrive so this is only a PI and not a P3, but we'll see what happens, either way, I'm doing 30 days on the patches when they arrive, it'll just be a question of whether I load or not lol.  I cheated quite a bit yesterday, but was only up .2 today, so still not too bad.  I am hoping to hover around the 175 mark for my PI, but if I drop below 174 I will be thrilled lol, that is my next goal so it's great. 

I picked up some pork and things for my PI, some avocados too.  I will pick up a few things at Costco next weekend if I need to, depends when the patches arrive.  I think the PI will be about 10 days, which is perfect. 

I am still pretty happy with my results, about .6lbs lost per day, that's crazy isn't it?  I mean it's quite high compared to every other diet I've done in the past.  I am sure I'll continue on to get to my goals, just need to work at it a bit more.  And get over this little hunger hump. 

I think the hunger is from ovulating.  I'm not temp charting right now because I think HCG can mess that up, but I am pretty sure it's ovulation time, according to my FF tracker any way.  I also think it was that time when I started and had hunger issues then. So for me hunger comes now rather than at TOM.  Strange but true!  At least knowing this I should be able to do something about it the next time, even if it means upping my protein quite a bit. 

Here's to pork chops! :-)

Still on it

I'm still going.  Though I've upped my calories a bit because of being hungry so often.  I am eating a bit closer to 600 or so, broken into 3 meals with protein and veggies the added calories, and cutting out a fruit and the melba's unless I really need something crunchy.  As of today I'm down 16 pounds.  Crazy, that's .6 or so each day so far... insane!  Who loses weight that fast?  And healthily!  That might not be a word :-)

I'm still waiting for the patches to arrive, I'm hoping they get here around my birthday which is Feb 7th, I plan to do a small PI during that time, a bit before to a day after I think.  If the patches are here to get started back on again.  Then another 30 days before P3 & P4, which I should be in at Easter which is the important thing.  Then another 30+ days after that. 

It is strange that I have lost as much as I have, I put on a pair of pants I haven't worn in 8 years, and they were so close to fitting. It's scary.  My top is much changed after having a baby, as is my middle lol.  So after this long round I will be starting to exercise in P4, and keep that up throughout the next rounds if at all possible.  I'm not talking much here, 20 minutes 3 or more times a week, plus walking the dog when the weather gets nice again.  He's getting fat too lol.  My parent's said they can tell (over videochat) that I have lost weight, I find that strange.  Only one person at work has said anything, but he knows I'm losing and how much I've lost.  He hasn't said anything about how I'm doing it but I haven't been entirely honest with him.  I told one more person at work because I told her about the pants and how much I've lost and she thought it was too fast, so I told her what I was doing, sort of. 

It's interesting to me that this works, not I guess that eating so little results in weightloss, more that I am able to do it.  I'm not so very good at doing things like this. But I do find when I am told what I can eat, when, I do better.  It worries me a little for P3, but not too much, I will be following a Primal style of eating to a certain extent, I do plan on eating things that aren't on there (like cheese) but in moderation.  So far, I'm doing well, and liking it. 

Decisions decisions

I've ordered my patches, and they have shipped.  Normally things from the US take 2 weeks or so to get to me.  I think I am going to do one more week of the drops, hopefully lose 3 pounds to put me at "overweight" instead of "obese" and then do a planned interruption for hopefully only 1 week before the patches arrive, and I switch to them for 30 days.  Then I'll do a proper P3/4 and do another 30 day round.  As long as I am on P4 at Easter I will be ok I think. 

I'm not losing as fast as I had hoped, but of course my drops are giving me issues, like hunger issues, which is why I ordered the patches.  I don't want to give up at this point, or do P3/4 right now because I'm worried I won't stabilize if these aren't as real as they could be.  I do not want to gain any of this weight back. Ever. 

I got my haircut, as a reward for getting to my first goal of losing 10 pounds, and it's cute and fun, and I like it.  It is a good reward, and for my next one I think I'll get a manicure.  But we'll see.  Next goal is 174 pounds, which puts me at overweight. 

I did have another loss this morning, down to 177 even.  Today has been rough though, I've been hungry so I doubled my evening meat, and am way over in calories.  It helped the hunger, but it is frustrating when so many others on this diet have no hunger.  I guess if I had managed to get the real stuff I'd be one of them, I hope I would any way.  But we'll never know.

I hope that I will be able to do this now, lose what I want to by the end of May and then maintain all summer and fall.  If I do that I think I will be all set, able to handle anything. 

Still at it

I'm still at this.  I've lost 14 pounds so far, not too bad for the time involved.  I hope to lose more of course.  I do think I've finally lost a few inches but won't know for sure until Saturday when I do my measurements.  My pants are fitting looser and I am sure my tops are going to be loose soon too.  It's kind of nice.

I got a great haircut yesterday and it feels good. It's short, but I like it, so much easier than the long hair.  My boss told me I look 19 instead of 25!  Ha ha ha, I'm 36 btw :-)  It was still funny of him to say. It makes me smile lol.

I've been a bit hungry today, mostly in mid-afternoon.  I think I wasn't drinking enough water, but I am also thinking I will take my fruit to have mid day instead of in the evening, that might help.  Lunch was really good, I put a little mustard on the chicken, mixed with ACV and topping my salad.  Almost don't miss salad dressing.  Almost.

I'm still getting over a bad cold and cough.  I am assuming that because my kid was told it's just a cold, that mine is as well, but I haven't been to a doctor for it.  I do wonder if I should, but then I think I'll feel better soon.  I'm sure this diet would be easier if I was healthy.  I guess I'll find out soon?  I hope so any way. 

I am still hoping to make it to the 60 day mark.  I plan on ordering the patches this week, provided my finances work out.  I am going to take advantage of the buy 2 get 1 free.  Then I can do this for 3 more months if I need.  Hopefully not of course!!

Big fat 0

No lose today.  No gain either so I guess that's ok.  It's still rather frustrating.  I was very spot on yesterday with what I ate, and drank lots of water, even had a decent sleep.  I don't know.  Maybe TOM is finally going to appear? Tomorrow will be interesting.  I'll be having to weigh in early, which will likely mean a small loss, if I don't gain.  And then I have work all day.  I'm not too worried about that, I know I can do the food etc, as long as I'm prepared, which I will be.  But it's still a little disappointing.  And worrying. 

Had to pick up a few more veggies, got some Swiss chard which looks nice, and that'll be for dinner tonight with some steak.  Wednesday is pay day so I'll be picking up more veggies, some biotin and some probiotics for the baby, he's having some stomach issues that are not pleasant.  I am also planning to get my hair cut, and done nicely.  I'm getting sick of it lol, it's so long and takes forever to wash, comb and dry.  Never mind I can't do anything with it. 

I'm getting a bit frustrated with my slow losses, I mean I know I've lost close to 12 pounds in a little time, but it's annoying to see others doing so much better.  Makes me worry I'm going to gain all the weight back too, that I'm not really losing "abnormal" fat.  I cannot gain the weight back.  So it's frustrating me.  I hope it gets better soon or this will end up being a short round instead of a long one, and I'll have to figure out what to do next.  I'm not worried at this point about P3/P4, I have a plan in mind for both, and numbers I hope to end up being able to eat to stabilize.  I just wish I wasn't hungry, like I'm not supposed to be. That's what bothers me.  I'm like one of the few people this won't work for or something.  Messed up so badly even this won't work. That's me! 

Ah well.  I have at least a few more days before I can do anything about it all.  So we'll see.  Maybe I'll have a big loss in a few days, or some inches will drop away. Crossing my fingers!

Quiet day

Today I was down another .8 lbs.  So far I've lost almost 12 pounds.  That's pretty impressive.  I will admit I sometimes wonder if I'm screwing myself this way, because I still have some hunger I worry that I'm doing it wrong.  I am anxious to get the patches if I can, hoping they will cure that part of it for me.  Wondering if I should lower the dose instead of raising it where it is... who knows what to do any more.  I know I'm still losing so that's a good thing.  I'm not sure if I can do a whole 60 days without something changing.  But we'll see.  I am still enjoying the food I do get to eat, so that is a nice thing for me.  I just wish there was MORE of it lol. 

I have the cough from my kid too, that is not helping, makes drinking water important, and of course with that comes lots of bathroom breaks. 

Need to go get some more greens to last a few more days, I have enough for tomorrow I think but not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, which is pay day so after that it's golden. 

Monday will be interesting, back to work, I hope I can stick to it then.  I was doing ok except I got too hungry and lost it, and haven't actually been back to work since.  Strange.  Oh well. Bedtime soon!  Sleep is helpful with all of this. 

It all adds up

I'm only down .2 today, but I'm ok with that.  I know TOM is coming, and I was good yesterday so it's just a week 2 slow down.  I will get the results I want.  I mean in less than 2 weeks I have lost over 10 pounds... that's crazy!! All the little .2's will add up. 

I'm still a bit hungry but it's not intolerable really.  I mean I'd feel like this on another diet too.  I am going to get the patches as soon as I can.  Hopefully they will cure the hunger, and make this easier.  But the results are still worth it.  I've done pretty well today, had my water, ate what I'm supposed to and nothing more, we'll see what the scale says tomorrow.

I have caught my son's cough, and it hurts!  But no fever thank goodness.  Hopefully I don't get one.  All the water plus all the coughing, is not a good combination, but I'll manage.  Back to normal Monday, hopefully!!  He's healthy again, and actually ate quite a bit this evening, thank goodness.  It is hard to make him pasta, rice, pizza, toast etc and not eat or taste any of it myself.  That is quite difficult, and when he's trying to force cereal in my mouth, or get me to have some pasta too... well it's hard because he doesn't understand and I don't really want him to.  I'd like for this weight thing to get easier and be done, and then when he's older I won't have to worry about what I'm eating, or what he's eating, we'll just be healthier because this diet is resetting the way I eat and cook and plan.  It's hard, but so worth it in the end! 

Oh, and I love Brussels Sprouts!!!  I knew I did but I never make them cause they seem like a lot of work and effort but I bought some and wow do I love them.  I will eat them more even when this is all over.  I'm discovering foods that I like, and enjoy, and it's nice.  Not that I won't also enjoy adding back in buns for my burgers, cheese for my omelette's, more veggies and fruits, different meats, salmon!  But I can do this for 30 days, or 40 or even the 60 I have planned. 

Another day...

A big fat 0.  But better than a gain!  And I know I ate too much yesterday, too many calories.  Not enough water and not enough sleep.  Kiddo finally seems to be feeling better, in time for a storm to drive to work in tomorrow... but it does mean I might get some sleep tonight.  He's still coughing, and keeping me up, and now I'm coughing too, and that worries me, but I'm eating healthy and have no issue taking whatever I need to to get by. 

Today was better, in terms of eating, I'm below calories.  Strawberries were on sale so I bought some. They were really good.  Still some left for tomorrow :-)  This time of year they can be very pricey and not very good, so I was pleased these ones were actually pretty good. 

Tomorrow is another day, another loss I hope! I am still thrilled with the results, less than two weeks of VLCD and I'm down over 10 pounds... come on now, what other diet gives those kind of results?

News on the other drops I had paid for through a daily deal site, they disappeared from the website the voucher was for, so I emailed both places and the deal site is refunding my money.  Will take about a week, at which point it's pay day again, and I can order patches.  I only hope they still have their buy 2 get 1 free deal so I can take advantage of that... Looking forward to trying them out, less to remember, and I've read good things about them, including no hunger.  Some don't believe in them, because they are basically homeopathic, but I get things like that, and believe in it lol, even though I'm a scientist by training (not what I do for a living though).  So we'll see what happens! 

Either way, I have 3 more bottles of drops plus the one that's open. And that should be enough to last me 60 days of this round (unless I get the patches first) and that is the important part of this for me.  Have to see how the money works out, and what happens with the 3 for 2 deal. 

Embrace the bland?

I'm down .8 today, so smashed that first goal!  Woo hoo!  So motivating to see that after less than two weeks.  I am thrilled with this diet.  And will keep going for awhile longer lol.

One of the people on a message board I read says to embrace the bland during P2, I disagree. I am learning here, learning to love these foods, and eat healthier items.  Learning to cook in healthier ways, and to enjoy healthy foods.  Yes we have a very limited diet of a handful of items that are approved, but there is no reason they have to be bland or boring!  I am using new spices, cooking in new ways, and eating healthy things that I can carry over to P3 and beyond.  The difference with P3 will be more freedom, I will be able to add in things that I can't now, but those same cooking lessons will apply.  Otherwise I will fall back into old habits that got me here in the first place, convenience.  I am learning to enjoy cooking and making homemade meals, to cook for myself and my son.  I think that's a very important lesson of P2.  Yes there are days that I chop chicken and throw it on some lettuce with lemon juice, but then there are days like today where I mixed ground beef with chili spices and had that over lettuce, and it was so good!  I can do that at work, take that to work and keep on plan, even when I'm on on P2.  Yes I might add some avocado or cheese to it then, but even without it, I'm happy!  And I need to be happy eating what I'm eating or I won't keep going.  And yes, I know I mixed vegetables, and I will continue to mix tomatoes and onions with other foods, but I don't mix much else beyond that. 

Any way.  On other news. I watched Bigg est Lo ser last night, and was surprised. They had such small losses, which is normal for week 2 but I've never really paid attention before.  I know I am not doing as well on HCG as others, and I had a cheat.  I am also not as big as the people on the show are, but if you compare, I have lost over 5.5% of my weight, in less than two weeks... and it was a heck of a lot easier!  I don't have anyone yelling at me to work harder, I don't have to workout 5 hours a day, and while I am eating mini portions of food, I am not that hungry any way! 

Now don't get me wrong, I am happy they are learning to be healthy, but they are not really resetting their metabolisms, and if they eat normally again, they will likely gain a bunch back. And I have nothing against exercise.  You can see the start of my journey here, where I was working out daily, and not losing anything.  I will exercise when I get to P4, though I may wait until after round 2, at which point it will be more about building muscle and sculpting my body the way I'd like it to look, thinner but fit and firm.  I have a plan in place for that once I get there.  And I'm looking forward to it.  With my new love of healthy foods, I should be better able to maintain my fabulous new body, and I'm loving it :-)

VLCD and the "cheat"

I am down 1.6 pounds today... only .2 from my first goal of -10 pounds.  Crazy.  last night I was hungry and craving so I made up some cocoa coconut oil crack stuff, and it was soooo good.  I might have more tonight.  I'd kind of like to see if it's why I had such a good loss.  Nothing else was different, well I had some egg whites for breakfast, also a cheat.  So who knows. 

I'm seriously considering getting the HCG patches, I keep seeing how amazing they are, and how you are never hungry on them. That sounds lovely to me.  I am not trying to be a martyr or something, but I do want to make sure I am doing this right, and not just starving myself, I won't stabilize if I am, and that scares me more than the starving does.  I'm a little broke this month though, so will plug through and see how it goes.  I have a bunch of car stuff I'm paying for, so can't afford anything extra, but if I can't get this to work a little better with the hunger, I doubt I'll make it through 60 days, and so will order the patches, at least if I know they are on the way I can keep going.  And they will be handy for round 2 in April. 

My small goals are pretty simple.

181 lbs (10 lost)

174 lbs 29.9 BMI (overweight instead of obese)

165 lbs (25 lost)

155 lbs (35 lost)

150 lbs R1 end goal

145 lbs 24.9 BMI (normal weight)

135 lbs happy goal

125 lbs fantasy goal

The bolded are the big goals.  And I am only .6 pounds over the 181.  So that is great.  This diet is so amazing and I can't say it enough.  It would have taken me a month to lose this much weight, and it hasn't even been two weeks... crazy!  Once I reach goal, or P4 at least, I will add in workouts, to tone up what I have left, give me definition and all of that. 

I'm so happy to be doing this and getting such great results.  Really, it's amazing!!

Another day

Another pound lost!  Crazy.  I was a little surprised by that once since I ate way too many Kale chips yesterday, but better than potato chips I guess lol.  I was glad to see the loss for sure, and happy to keep going!  Still trying to figure out the drops, what I need to take that works. That really takes the hunger away.  Hopefully I get it soon, or I'm in trouble!

Home with a sick kiddo today, so life is easier, though I tend to not drink as much water.  I've been really trying to get it all in, but it is harder at home for some reason.  I will get to have a nap though, which is nice too :-)

Watching What Not to Wear, and working on getting some tips for when I'm at goal, or at least close enough lol. I am saving some money every month towards a new wardrobe in May, hopefully I'll be at a healthy weight by then, so far it seems like I can do it.  I'm also checking out a lot of websites for ideas on what to get, classic things, you know "10 pieces 10 ways" type of stuff, to get an idea so I can make the money I manage to save work well for me.  Hopefully I'll be able to get some good sales too lol.

Today is so far going well, had a great lunch of leftovers, and fish is thawed in the fridge to cook up for dinner. Probably have some bok choy again, I have a bit of it as I got some at Costco... Need to put something out to thaw for tomorrow's lunch, but that should be ok.  And dinner tomorrow as well.  It's all cooked and ready lol, so much easier!  I'm glad I did the cooking on the weekend, all I need to do is mix up veggies and add the protein!  I can make the proteins more exciting when I add it to the veggies too, I have plain chicken and browned ground beef, waiting to be a taco salad or chili or whatever!  I'm excited about this plan, I'm doing so well cooking!!

VLCD Day 10

Down 1 pound today, which is so great!  That's 7.2 pounds lost since I started this.  I am quite happy. Still hungry.  Did more reading on the drops though and have upped my dosage.  I was pretty good today until about 3 ish.  I think that will be better tomorrow as I tend to drink more at work, and do lunch instead of breakfast. 

I did cheat a bit today.  I made these kale chips which are so awesome, not on my meal plan for the day, and I've eaten a bunch of them.  They are so tasty! tonight I'm having meatloaf and brussels sprouts.  I did a big grocery shop yesterday and cooked up enough meat for 53 meals.  Most have enough for the baby as well but not all since he doesn't need lunch like I do.  He eats at daycare.  So this will hopefully last awhile.  I do eggs on the weekend, which helps as well.  And it all smelled so good while cooking, though I did manage to not eat any of it!  The fish I didn't cook, just cut up in portions and froze, so thatll require more work than the rest but still be tasty.

I'm trying to plan and eat well, and learn from this to make foods I enjoy the taste of and that are healthy.  I want to keep my taste buds fresh.  There are some who look at it as only fueling your body during this diet, but I disagree, I love food!  I love the taste of it and the filling feeling of eating it.  So I plan to enjoy my food during this.  As I have a plan to do 60 days, that would be a long time to be unhappy with what I'm eating.  I do think P3 will be awesome... I mean I'll be able to have bacon and cheese again!!  It is kind of funny, but I feel like I'm doing well so I want to keep up with this and get to where I want to be.  I hope to get to 145 this round, but we'll see what happens as I go along.  I need to get my dose right for sure, or I'll never make it that far, and be burning the wrong kind of fat, and gain it all back in the end any way.  I do not want that!!

VLCD 7

I think it's day 7 any way.  Something like that :-)  Yesterday was a big fail, my does must be off because I was starving, and ended up cheating and that led to being up .6 lbs, which isn't as bad as it could have been.  We'll see how tomorrow goes.  Today was better though.  But I was home so it was easier to stay the course, and catch up on sleep which I'm sure helped with the hunger.  Hopefully tomorrow it will be right on track!  I love the results too much to give up but it's hard to get the numbers right.

Eating was good today, I got my Braggs order so that made it a little more exciting, and I made fish for dinner which I haven't had yet.

Tomorrow is big shopping day, and cooking too.  I'll be getting everything I need to last at least two weeks, and cooking a bunch of it in advance.  Hopefully that will make it easier. 

If the hunger issue can't be solves easily with this adjustment to drops, I might up the calories to 800 a day and hope that helps.  I imagine it will affect my losses but I don't see how I can do 60 days, let alone 30, feeling like this.  I wish I could get the patches and people seem to be having better luck on them, with no adjustments required, but they are pricey and I have a bunch of the drops... hate to have wasted that money without giving this a good try.

Gosh, anyone reading this is gonig to think this diet sucks lol, hopefully that gets better over the next week or so!  And next time, I load properly.

VLCD Day 6

Another day, a big loss!  186.2, down 1.4! Nice :-)  I think tomorrow will be another good one too, but we'll see what happens.  I was a bit hungry today, nothing unbearable, and except for being tired from a bit of a rough night, and my drops were messed up a mid-day again.  I guess I'll have to take my bottle with me to work and do it that way, a pain but oh well... do what you have to!

I had a few good meals today, I am mixing vegetables which is not on protocol but makes salads so much nicer. Today I had tomatoes and ground beef over romaine lettuce. It was sooo good.  Then for dinner I was traditional, steak with steamed spinach and my melba toast, which I have not always been eating.  Trying to get the last bit of water in today, and hoping for a good sleep.  I will be very happy when this cold is gone!!

I was happy to see I've lost just over 5 pounds from my starting weight as of today, that is a nice thing to see.  I am hoping for 45 pounds this round, but will see.  I know 38 or so is what's recommended not to exceed but I'm anxious!  I want to do two rounds, so we'll see how this one ends up and then what happens with round two.  I have things planned so that the end of my 6 weeks stabilization leaves me at Easter weekend, to start round two right after, and be goal by May. We'll see if I need a round 2 though, I may get to a place I'm happy with. Or decide to do the leptin reset after HCG.  Who knows!  This is hard but not unbearable. It's hard because I have to feed my son and he's obviously not on a diet, he's 2!!  So tonight I made him fries and he loved them, and I was so good and didn't even have one... and it was so hard!!  I am used to picking at what's left after dinner, eating it instead of putting it away.  Tonight the dog got the extra fries... he's gonna get fat lol.  Ah well, I am donig well and happy with my results so far, be happier when I get to -20 or something though lol. 

VLCD Day 5

Well it was a bit of a disappointing loss today, only down 0.2lbs.  I think lack of sleep and water contributed, but who knows for sure!  Hopefully tomorrow the scale is kinder, I was right on plan today, though I think I lost a drop or two for my mid-day dose, it was a bit tricky getting it to work, I'm wondering if I should take the whole bottle back and forth, I just don't want to lose any potency by doing so.  Ack.  I'll have to figure something out I guess! 

I bought some extra lean ground beef and had a great supper.  It was so nice to not have chicken!  I'll have the last bit tomorrow for lunch and then chicken for the rest of the week.  Saturday will be my big shopping trip, I'll get lots of ground beef then and do something with some of it.  I was thinking of making little meatloaves using the Melba toast, and then brown little packets of it, in the right size, to freeze.  I can turn those into "chili" and other things.  Chicken too, if it's not too expensive.  I also need the usual stuff for baby, milk, milk and more milk lol, bread, eggs, and greens for me.  Then oranges and apples too.  He's been asking for grapes too so we'll see about that.  A few little things to pick up on top of that, but it shouldn't be too bad, I hope!

I was hungry today too, quite a bit. Not sure why, except the lost drops at mid day.  That could have been it, not sure.  There really isn't another way to do it though, I need to take a dose there, or I'd be even hungrier!  I am still sick too, so that doesn't help.  My throat is sore, my tonsils I think, I wish I'd get better because it's really annoying not being able to totally tell if I am just sick or if it's part of the HCG diet.  Ah well, tomorrow is another day!