Begin again

Today is VLCD 1.  And I'm kind of hungry, trying to eat only when I am hungry and just until the hunger is gone.  Problem of course is that I get hungrier when I stop eating, which is weird, but I think I am normally like that so it's not a big deal.  I hope to wake up a couple pounds lighter, at least the "loading weight" I put on yesterday.  I don't think I loaded as well as I should have, it seems something always happens so I don't do as much as I could.  But hopefully it was enough, or I'll end up not doing very well at all.  My goal this round is 145.  I'd obviously like to get lower but we'll see what happens.

Today I ate more than 500 calories, I added a protein shake to my morning as "breakfast" and that put me at 650 calories today.  I'm not too concerned about that, and will likely have the same thing most mornings especially is I am hungry in the morning.  Better than getting a donut or pastry at work. 

I am eager to get the weight off, and get to maintenance again, and to not have to do any more rounds, though that remains to be seen of course.  I am motivated to do this, and to lose the weight for sure.  I am reading a lot about wheat, gluten, carbs, hunger and low carb diets.  Decoding the science underlying it all, and finding it interesting that the same basic principals mean different things depending on who is writing about them.  That is why I say I'm decoding it.  I am trying to put it all together in a way that makes sense and that I can live with.  I get eating only when hungry, my problem is normally that I am always hungry.  But I also eat too much, even of good things, especially when I am enjoying it. 

Many years ago I saw a nutritionist to help me lose weight, it didn't help but I remember telling her I'd had a bunch of asparagus for supper, like a lot, and her telling me just because it was good, and good for me, doesn't mean I should over eat it.  That's about all I got out of my sessions with her.  I do tend to do that, even with things that are good for me, like asparagus, but also with chips and french fries, pizza.  Oh pizza.  It is remarkable to me that I can overeat on healthy things, but I know it's true. 

I will be reading more over my P2, and trying to figure out what it all means, and means to me.  I am determined to make my life healthy, and my son's life healthy.  If that means giving up bread and pasta, rice and chips, well then so be it.  I am hoping that I will discover we can both have these things on occasion, not necessarily weekly but hopefully biweekly.  I do want to set us up so that he grows up healthy and I maintain without too much effort.  We'll see how it goes but I am determined to make this work.